


One Hell of an Apology

by EDrake



Series: The Apology Series [1]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Blow Jobs, Dubious Consent, Fake AH Crew, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-07 19:15:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16859797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EDrake/pseuds/EDrake
Summary: Jeremy messes up on a routine heist resulting in Vagabond getting hurt.  Since they don't make "Sorry I got you shot" cards at Hallmark, Jeremy is going to need apologize in person and hope he makes it out alive.





	One Hell of an Apology

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, first fic in a VERY long time. If there are any tags you would like me to add, please let me know, I'll be happy to add them. DUBIOUS CONSENT WARNING because Ryan is "a little loopy" after taking medication and he kinda talks Jeremy into things. If that's not your thing, please don't read. This is un-beta read (because I don't have one), so any mistakes are my own. 
> 
> As a disclaimer, I don't own any of these characters, or really anything at all, or have any affiliation with achievement hunter, and I am in no way making any money or profit from this. This is purely fiction. But also, please do not use it without my consent. which no one has. 
> 
> Enjoy :)
> 
> ~EDrake

One Hell of an Apology  
By: EDrake

     Jeremy stood outside Vagabond's door chewing his fingernails down to the bone. Each time the metallic taste of blood hit his tongue he would move on to a new finger. Eight fingers and several hours later and he still hadn't made any forward progress. As he chewed he was silently willing the floor to open and swallow in him whole. Or in pieces... it was what he deserved anyway. How could he have been so reckless?! He should have been watching his six. But it's not like he asked the Vagabond to jump in front of that bullet for him! It all happened so fast. By the time he even realized there was someone behind him, the man was already dead and Vagabond was on the ground with blood seeping through his fingers from a fresh bullet wound. Now he was standing outside his teammate's door trying to muster the courage to knock and apologize for being a worthless twit who got his teammate shot on a routine heist.

     Trevor, the crew's medic, had left the room an hour ago saying Vagabond would be fine. 'It was just a deep graze. No severe damage. No need to get all worked up.' Jeremy had been running over the words in his head like a mantra ever since they came out of the lanky man's mouth. He had been so relieved that Vagabond was okay, he almost didn't catch the rest of Trevor's conversation with Geoff. Trevor had given him some medication for the pain, which Vagabond being Vagabond tried to refuse; but Trevor had put his foot down saying the man needed a good night's rest. He mentioned to Geoff something about the pills making him “loopy” for a bit. Whatever that means. Was a loopy Vagabond better than a fully conscious and aware one in pain? Either way Jeremy had to bite the bullet and attempt to apologize. Even if it got him punched in the face. He just hoped it wouldn't get him stabbed... or shot... or dismembered... Come on, floor! Any time now!

     “Oh, just knock would you!” Jeremy jumped and snapped his head around to stare at Geoff, casually leaning against his own door frame. How long had he been there?

     “But what if-”

     “He's all looped out on pain pills. Now is the best time to apologize. Assuming that's why you've been staring at his door for the past hour like a jackass.” Jeremy hated and loved how Geoff could read them all like the piles of open books in his room.

     “Yeah...” Jeremy's cheeks tinted pink in embarrassment of how weak and transparent he was.

     “Just knock, apologize, and let the man get some sleep.”

     “He's going to hate me.” Jeremy cringed as he heard the whine in his own voice. My god, how childish was he? Geoff pushed off the door frame to come stand next to him.

     “Yup. But he hates everyone, so suck it up.” Before Jeremy could come up with a better excuse, Geoff confidently strode up to the door and knocked loudly. Jeremy immediately paled and tried to back away, but Geoff already had a hand on his upper arm.

     “Geoff!” he whisper shouted. “What are you doing?!”

     “Helping. In ya go!” Before Jeremy could form a decent thought besides 'oh god no', he was being shoved though Vagabond's door, where he landed flat on his stomach on the surprisingly plush carpet.

     Jeremy slowly raised his head. The room was dark with only the evening's setting sun behind gauzy closed curtains as its light source. Jeremy had never been in Vagabond's room. To his knowledge, only Geoff and Trevor had. It was a lot less bloody than he had pictured it. He had always assumed the man would decorate the place with the severed body parts of his enemies. Really there was nothing of note. There was a small bookshelf, a chest of drawers with a small potted plant on top, a bed, and a bedside table. He had an en-suite bathroom, like they all did, plain blank walls, and plain carpets, not even any weapons in sight. In fact, the only blood in the room appeared to have been from Vagabond himself, if the many drips leading up to the bed were any indication.

     Jeremy slowly got to his knees and peeked over the edge of the bed to see a quietly sleeping Vagabond, tucked in at the waist, under plain blankets. His shoulder, where he took the bullet, was heavily bandaged and his chest was bare apart from several other large bandages. The bullet must not have been the only hit he took today. Jeremy let out a soft breath he hadn't realized he had been holding in. Vagabond couldn't kill him if he was asleep. He hoped.

     Jeremy stood fully and dared a couple steps closer. Vagabond's trademark black skull mask laid in a heap on the bedside table. Most of his usual face paint had been cleaned off of him, but some was still caked around his eyes and nose, even in his beard. Whoever had taken it off for him obviously wasn't going for cleanliness, just getting the bulk so it didn't stain his bedding. Jeremy admired his face. It wasn't often he got to see it. The man beneath the mask had a strong jaw, high cheekbones, and a dark beard that complemented his sandy hair. Even his crooked nose seemed to only add to his good looks. He could have been a model in another life. But instead he was an enforcer for their Los Santos gang. Jeremy pushed down the urge to reach out and brush away a stray lock of hair from his face. Never a good idea to touch The Vagabond, sleeping or not. Instead, he carefully crept over to get a closer look at the potted plant on top of the dresser.

     At first glance he had thought Vagabond seemed out of place in the plain room; but on second thought, it suit the man. Simple. Necessary. Quiet. That plant however, did not fit. What was so special about it? Jeremy ran a few fingers over the green leaves to check if they were real. It was definitely alive, looked as if it might even have flowers starting to bud. Strange. Where had it come from?

     “His name's Edgar...” Jeremy's eyes went wide at the sound of the voice behind him. He froze; too shocked and nervous to turn around. Shit! He inwardly cursed. Fuck. Fuck shit! “Jerrrrrrremyyyy...” Well, now or never, right?

     “Uh, hey Vagabond. How ya feeling, big guy?” Jeremy spoke slowly and carefully, turning around and preparing to bolt for the door in case this went sideways on him.

     “Jeremy, meet Edgar. Edgar, Jeremy.” Vagabond spoke slowly and had a sort of dopey grin on his face. Jeremy felt his head tilt to the side in confusion. “Don't be rude. Say hi!” He whispered scolded.

     “Uh. Hi... Edgar.” Jeremy half turned to address the plant behind him, feeling more childish than he had in a long time. Was the man toying with him before striking? “Vaga... are you feeling okay?”

     “Come here.” Vagabond limply reached his arm out in Jeremy's direction and he felt his heart rate increase.

     “Uh. No, uh... That's okay. I-I was just -” Jeremy stuttered through his panic, trying to think of any excuse to get out of this situation.

     “Pleeeeease?” The expression on Vagabond's face could only be described as a child doe eyeingly begging for a treat before dinner. Jeremy stayed firmly in place, more out of fear than any desire to disobey. But as the man's expression turned crest fallen and almost pouty, Jeremy found himself taking a step forward before he could even process what was happening. Two steps closer and he was drawing a firm line in the dirt... carpet... whatever.

     “Uh... Maybe I should just go. You seem...”

     “Closer...” Shit. The room was small, his two previous steps had practically halved the distance to the reach of Vagabond's hand. Jeremy dared one step closer and stopped again.

     “I'm right here, buddy.”

     “Clooooser!”

     “I think I'm-I'm close enough.”

     “But-”

     “But you need your rest. So I should go.” Jeremy felt for all the world like he was disciplining a small child while trying not to hurt their feelings. Vagabond dropped his hand back down on the bed and huffed a sad breath out his mouth. Jeremy felt his resolve slip, or maybe that was his sense of self preservation; either way, Jeremy once again found himself moving forward before he could stop himself. From this close he could see Vagabond's eyes. They were glassy, bloodshot, and his pupils were way too dilated, but still the most lovely shade of blue Jeremy had ever seen.

     “Down here! I have to tell you something.” Now at this point any sane man would have turned on his heel and ran. Maybe it was how Vagabond really did look like he was barely holding in a dirty little secret; maybe he had just lost his will to live, but Jeremy carefully leaned down, swallowing around his suddenly dry tongue.

     “Okay... look Vagabond, I just wanted to say how sorry-” Jeremy was halfway though apologizing when Vagabond's hand shot out, grabbed him by the shirt, and dragged him the rest of the way down.

     “You have pretty eyes.” Jeremy barely registered the compliment before he felt lips pressed forcefully against his own. His apparently pretty eyes were comically wide as Vagabond's lips moved against his own. Jeremy was just starting to process what was happening when Vagabond pulled away, not seeming to notice his captive partner hadn't reciprocated his kiss. But definitely not for lack of wanting to, Jeremy noted as he felt a warm tingling low in his stomach. What the fuck was happening?! In his struggle to properly assess the situation Vagabond snuck in two more chaste, but firm, kisses to his his jaw line.

     “Vaga!” Jeremy chastised as he felt the other man's tongue on his neck. His eyes darted around the room looking for any explanation of why this was happening. His heart sank when his eyes landed on the bottle of painkillers on the nightstand. Oh, right. Loopy. This wasn't Vagabond actually showing interest. This was a loopy man who probably wouldn't remember anything in the morning. Jeremy snapped back to the situation he was in as he felt the other man suck a mark into the side of his neck. Jeremy tried to pull back but Vagabond had a firm hold on his shirt. “Vaga, you're not in your right mind. I'll come back later.” He heard the gent let out a vaguely animalistic growl as he flipped Jeremy onto the bed. Jesus! Even injured the man was strong. That thought only sent another wave of heat south.

     “But you just got here and you never come to visit me. Don't go now.” Jeremy tried to move away but Vagabond pulled him into position under him, trapping Jeremy with his lower body and hovering above him.

     “Vagabond, I-” he was silenced by another kiss, this one more tender but no less insistent. Jeremy felt his heart melt and closed his eyes as he kissed back. Hey, if he was trapped he might as well enjoy himself.

     “Ryan.” He heard Vagabond mutter as he rested his forehead against Jeremy's.

     “Excuse me?” Jeremy slid his eyes open and stared up into the bright blue depths above him.

     “My name-,” Vagabond slid his hand into Jeremy's dyed purple and orange hair, pulling him into another brief kiss, “- is Ryan.”

     “Okay... Ryan,” the other man's eyes slipped closed and he let out a pleased hum at hearing his own name, “listen, you're on pain medication. This isn't you.” Jeremy watched Ryan lazily move back to pressing kisses into his jawline and neck. “And you probably shouldn't be putting so much weight on that shoulder.”

     “Mmm. Feels fine.” The man mumbled before sucking another bruise onto Jeremy's neck. Jeremy fought the urge to moan.

     “Vaga-”

     “Ryan!” The man growled. Jeremy yelped in pain as he received a sharp bite as punishment for mixing up the man's name.

     “Ryan! Ryan, right, sorry! Not used to that yet. Sorry.” Jeremy pulled the gent up by his head to try to reason with him. “Ryan, just stop for a second and think.” Jeremy implored. “Try to remember what happened.”

     “Fine...” Ryan grumbled but didn't let him go. He laid his forehead back on Jeremy's and went back to petting through his hair. Jeremy let out a small sigh of relief through his nose while pushing down the feeling of disappointment bubbling up inside. His break didn't last long though, as after only what seemed like a few seconds; Ryan's eyes seemed to twinkle mischievously and he went back to sucking on Jeremy's neck.

     “I – what – you – wait!” Jeremy stuttered, not able to form a coherent thought.

     “Why!” Ryan flopped the rest of his weight on top of him as he whined. Jeremy felt like the wind was knocked out of him and he coughed trying to get it back. Man, the guy was heavy.

     “What happened to thinking for a minute and remembering what happened?”

     “I did. Now I'm done. So back to this.” Ryan began nosing along his neck again and Jeremy felt a twinge of panic creep in as he felt the older man's fingers inch under his shirt. He tried to bat them away but Ryan wasn't having any of it.

     “Ryan! Please! Think!”

     “I DID!” Jeremy was punished with another sharp bite, this time to his collar bone. He winced and cursed his body as he felt his pants becoming way too tight.

     “Ryan, look...” Jeremy implored again.

     “No, you look.” Ryan growled into his neck as his fingers worked further under Jeremy's shirt. “I thought. I remembered. Now I'm done and I want to enjoy this. Why won't you let me?” The last bit had lost all the ferocity of the start as Ryan whined and pouted. His hands stopped their upward journey and he sadly nosed Jeremy's love bitten neck. The man's emotions were all over the place.

     “This just doesn't seem like something you would do normally.” Jeremy dared to bring a hand up to run through Ryan's sandy hair comfortingly. It was surprisingly soft. Did Vagabond use conditioner?

     “How would you know?” Jeremy felt his stomach bottom out. “You never even try to talk to me. Now you're finally here and all you want to do is get me to stop so you can run away again.” Jeremy felt Ryan abandon his exploration under his shirt to start pawing at his belt. It seemed that not only had the medication made him loopy, but it affected his fine motor skills.

     “I'm sorry.”

     “I know. You said that already.” Ryan seemed to still again and went back to resting his forehead against Jeremy's. “Why don't you think I could love?”

     “Wh-what?” Oh god! How was it that one of Los Santos most wanted criminals was currently crushing his heart into pieces? And not in the literal sense!

     “You always hide. Everyone always hides. I need love too.” The man above him was practically pouting and Jeremy felt his resolve crumble. He always was a sucker for puppy dog eyes. Jeremy tried to turn away and look anywhere else but the sad lonely eyes of the gent, unfortunately that only served to expose his neck to more of Ryan's hungry kisses. He closed his eyes against the assault and bit hard into his lip to hold in his noises.

     He knew he shouldn't give in. Ryan wasn't in his right mind. And fuck, if he woke in the morning and remembered... they hadn't invented an apology big enough to make up for not only getting the man shot, but taking advantage of him in his injured and inebriated state. Ryan abandoned Jeremy's neck in favor of focusing his full attention on Jeremy's belt. Jeremy steeled himself to try to push Ryan off of him when his hand landed on Ryan's injured shoulder. Jeremy automatically pulled his hand away from the bandages noticing blood spotting them, but Ryan didn't even seem to notice the touch. Jeremy's heart ached as he looked at them. He needed to get Ryan to remember exactly what happened. Holding himself in this position was only making his injury worse.

     “Ryan...” Jeremy all but whispered into the darkness. Ryan gave up on his belt for the moment and looked up at him through long lashes.

     “Hmm?”

     That look almost made Jeremy back down and give Ryan what he wanted. But he knew if Ryan truly remembered what had happened, how profoundly stupid and useless Jeremy was, he wouldn't even want him in his gang, let alone his bed. Jeremy couldn't help himself and reached out to run his fingers through the other man's hair again. Ryan just closed his eyes and soaked up the small amount of affection like a touch starved man.

     “Ryan, I don't care if it makes you hate me, but I need you to remember what happened today.” Ryan just huffed and ran his hand up Jeremy's side. “Please, Ryan, I need you to remember.” Jeremy could feel not only frustration build, but also his panic. He was asking the most vicious man he knew to remember why he should hate him.

     “Why do you keep saying that?” Ryan growled as he thumbed across Jeremy's nipple. Jeremy jerked and tried to sit up and in the process rubbed against Ryan's crotch. Oh hell. Jeremy dared a small quick glance downward and even in the darkness could tell the pajama pants the man had on did nothing to protect his modesty. “Hey, I'm up here.” Jeremy snapped his attention back to Ryan smirking down at him with a knowing look in his eyes. “You know, for someone who is putting up one hell of a fight, you sure look torn. Care to tell me what's tearing you up?”

     “I... I just think... you would act differently towards me if you remembered... what happened today.” Jeremy flinched as Ryan let out a frustrated groan and slammed his head down on the pillow next to him.

     “For fucks sake! What is so important that it can't wait until later? If you couldn't already tell, I'm dealing with a bit of a problem.” As emphasis of said problem, Ryan rolled his hips against Jeremy's and both men held in groans.

     “Ryan! Please, you were shot! Why don't you-?” Ryan bit hard into Jeremy's lower lip and licked away the sting.

     “I remember, okay! I know I got shot. Yes, life and death. Very scary. You're welcome. Then, Trevor fixed it. It's not that bad. Now, I'm here. With you. Hi.” Ryan leaned down to kiss him again and Jeremy felt him start to slide his hands south again.

     “Ryan.” Jeremy fought the tears of frustration that started to cloud his vision. “I got you shot.” Jeremy felt himself tense to prepare for the hit was sure would come once Ryan figured out how bad Jeremy had messed up. Ryan just sighed.

     “I got me shot.”

     “No, Ryan-” Jeremy began gently, but was cut short.

     “No, you no! It was my choice then, just like this is now.” Ryan pushed himself up again to hover over Jeremy. “Is that all you wanted? For me to remember how I got shot? You're sitting here fighting me for that?” Ryan was looking down at him like he was stupid and Jeremy couldn't believe what he was hearing.

     “You're on drugs.” He sighed and tried to look anywhere but the piercing blue eyes currently burrowing into his soul.

     “I'm fine.” Ryan grabbed him by the chin and forced his attention back. “And if you really think I'm not, then what are you still doing in my bed?” Jeremy was starting to get annoyed now.

     “You're on top of me and like twice my size!” He didn't think that needed to be pointed out, yet here he was.

     “But I was shot and drugged. Overpower me.” Ryan mocked him from above.

     “I can't!” Jeremy growled while trying to buck the larger man off. Ryan barely moved. “I've been trying!”

     “No,” Ryan took a firm hold of Jeremy's hips and slammed them into the mattress. “You've been grinding into my stomach and begging me to remember something I never forgot.” Jeremy went pink but fought against the humiliation to glare up at Ryan in defiance.

     “Ryan, think about this.”

     “I think it's time you think. But you know what I really think?” Ryan took a firm hold of Jeremy's jaw as he stole another hard kiss. “I think you like me.” Jeremy's heart skipped a beat at those words being spoken aloud. He felt some of his earlier defiance drain out of him and he paled a little as Ryan continued. “I think you suck at hiding when you're staring at me. I think you don't know what to do with your feelings so you're trying to force them down. I think that's not healthy. So why don't you do both of us a favor,” Ryan leaned in for another kiss, this time more gentle. Less of an attack, more of plea for Jeremy to reciprocate, but it was over before Jeremy's mind could catch up to what was happening. “Stop fighting and help me.” Ryan pulled at Jeremy's belt again. It still refused to undo itself.

     Jeremy eyed Ryan's bandaged torso. He couldn't think. Did Ryan really remember what happened accurately? It had happened so fast and had been a high stress situation. Jeremy had assumed the man was acting mostly on instinct and the pull they all felt to always watch out for and protect each other. Had coming to protect Jeremy actually been a conscious decision? The only thing he knew for sure was that this was not Ryan's normal behavior. Well... it wasn't Vagabond's normal behavior. Were the two the same? It was so hard to think straight, and Ryan running his hands all over his body like a horny teenager wasn't helping.

     Now, he would be straight up lying if he tried to tell himself he had never thought about this. In fact, it was one of his go to fantasies when he needed to get off quick. Good looks aside, Jeremy knew his kinks and come on! Who wouldn't want to be at the mercy of the Vagabond in bed?! But in all his fantasies he could at least say both parties were in their right minds. He definitely could not say that now. His eyes snapped over to Ryan's bandaged shoulder again and he noted the spot of blood there had grown. The medicine was not just making him loopy, it was numbing him to the point of either not feeling or not caring about putting too much pressure on his injuries. He was just mindlessly chasing his own pleasure. Any other day, under any other circumstance, that would be insanely hot. Not today. If Jeremy couldn't take back his stupidity from earlier in the day, and he couldn't convince Ryan to stop now, then he could at the very least help him safely find release. And he would be lying to himself again if he said he never ached to taste the man currently above him.

     “Okay... you win.” Jeremy quietly conceded.

     “Ooh. I like winning. What's my prize? It better be you.” Ryan yanked hard at his pants and nosed along his heavily bitten collar bone to emphasize his point.

     “You're worked up. I get that...” Jeremy bit his lip to stifle a moan as Ryan ground his hips down again. “But you're hurt-”

     “I'm fine.”

     “You're hurt.” Jeremy almost backed down at the growl he felt, more than heard, Ryan let out. He swallowed around the knot in his throat and pressed on. “You got hurt saving me. So, if you want a little help with the problem you're currently grinding into my hips,” Ryan pulled back to look him in the eyes, “I can help you with that.” For the first time that night, Ryan looked torn. He reached up again to brush his fingers through Jeremy's hair. “You in or not?”

     “You'll... 'help' me?” Ryan spoke slowly like he was testing the words. His eyes narrowed. “I don't need a cold shower.” Jeremy snorted a laugh.

     “No. You need to get off. Right?” Jeremy waggled his eyebrows at him and smirked. Ryan's eyes lit up and he smirked back.

     “You want to 'help' me cum.”

     “Yes, but I have some conditions.”

     “Name them.” Ryan leaned down again, pressing gentle kisses over Jeremy's skin.

     “I'll blow you.” Jeremy felt Ryan smile against his skin at his bluntness. “But you have to lay down and let me be on top.” Jeremy felt Ryan tense as his smiled faded. He pulled back to look him in the eye.

     “No.”

     “Ryan...” Jeremy sighed, already tired from the argument he felt coming.

     “You'll run and leave me here.” Okay. That's not the response he was expecting.

     “I won't run. I promise.”

     “No. All you've been doing since you got here is trying to get me to stop and saying you should leave. I'm supposed to believe that you're going to stay if I let you up? Nuh-uh. Mine. I finally have you exactly where I want you. You're not leaving.”

     “Ryan, come on...”

     “NO!” If Jeremy could pull back from Ryan's sudden outburst, he would have. It seemed like maybe Vagabond wasn't all gone from Ryan's medicated persona. His temper was still around at least.

     “Ryan,” Jeremy internally cringed at how small his voice sounded. “Hey,” He slowly reached his hand up to cup Ryan's face, watching as he closed his eyes and melted into the soft touch. “Please listen.” Ryan kept his eyes closed and breathed deep and evenly as Jeremy tenderly pet through his short beard hair with his thumb. “You're hurt.” He tried to pull his hand away at the growl Ryan let out, but he wasn't fast enough. Ryan slammed Jeremy's hand back to his face, demanding more gentle affection. Jeremy swallowed his nerves and continued stroking his beard. “I know you feel fine, but look at your arm.” Ryan frowned and clenched his eyes shut like a petulant child. “Come on. Just look. I already said I would blow you. What have you got to lose?” Ryan slid his eyes open again and Jeremy could swear the blue of his eyes actually made the room lighter.

     “What if I want more?” Jeremy tried to keep his breathing calm and his face neutral. He knew even under normal circumstances he was no match for Vagabond; and he was pinned right now. Honestly, if the man wanted to take more from him, he could. Any other day there wouldn't even be a fight. All Ryan had to do was say jump and Jeremy wouldn't ask how high. He would just jump... into his bed... naked. But this was an entirely different circumstance. Jeremy fought off his panic as best he could.

     “Ryan, p-please, no.” Ryan looked shocked and pulled back at Jeremy's broken plea, his predatory look gone.

     “Jeremy... I didn't mean... I-I wouldn't... You have to know that. Right?” Jeremy's silent staring said all he needed and Ryan pulled back from him completely to crouch by his legs. Jeremy knelt in front of him and studied his crest fallen expression. God, he wished the older man would just pick an emotion.

     “Ryan, you're not yourself right now. I don't know what you would do.” Ryan groaned and scrubbed his hands against his face in frustration. Jeremy eyed the still very prominent bulge in his loose fitting pajama pants. “Um... I may be out of line here, but I can't help but notice that you still need some help.”

     “You'll just run.” Jeremy could barely make out the muffled words from behind Ryan's hands.

     “I probably should, to be honest,” He carefully reached over to pull Ryan's hands away from his face. “But I'm not now. Am I?” Jeremy smiled sweetly at him but steeled himself as he felt Ryan tense. Ryan tried to lunge at him again, but Jeremy was prepared this time. He used Ryan's own momentum to flip him onto his back, immediately climbing on top to straddle his waist. “Hey! None of that!” Jeremy snatched his arms out of the air as they made to grab for him, pinning them to the bed. “Fuck! Do you have to be so difficult? Gentle! Okay?!” Ryan seemed to take in his new position for a moment before finally conceding with a small nod. “Okay.” Jeremy's relief was short lived and he sucked in a surprised breath as Ryan started rolling his hips up into him.

     “Jeremy, please, it's starting to hurt...”

     “I've got you. Just stay put, okay? Keep the pressure off your shoulder.” At Ryan's frantic nodding, Jeremy let go of his arms to move lower down his body.

     Normally Jeremy would take his time here. He took great pride in his ability to tease his partners right to the edge before the main event even started. However, right now didn't seem like the best time for that. After all, Ryan was already right on the edge. It probably wouldn't take much at all to get him off.

     Jeremy pulled at the drawstrings holding Ryan's pants up and pulled the soft fabric down. Ryan lifted his hips to help him pull them all the way off. Jeremy turned and tossed the pants into the corner of the room. When he turned back and took in his situation, he felt short of breath. He was kneeling between Ryan's open legs, looking up at this murderous dark god, but he had all the power. Ryan's breathing was quick and shallow and even in the dim light Jeremy could make out the faint sweat that was starting to break out on his brow. He knew Ryan was well muscled. To be honest, he had stolen glances before, so seeing him shirtless was nothing new. The bandages did nothing to hide his incredible physic. Pantsless though, that was new. He had a decent amount of coarse hair on his thighs, which were thick like a runner's. No wonder the man always wore “dad” jeans. There was no way he could fit the thick muscle into the skinny jeans Gavin was always trying to talk him into.

     Ryan rolled his hips up into nothing, bringing Jeremy's attention to his erection currently straining against his boxer briefs. Jeremy carefully pulled them off and tossed the surprisingly soft fabric, without looking, in the general direction he had thrown the pants. He fought the urge to lick his lips. Ryan's dick was not the longest he'd ever handled, but it was by no means anywhere close to small. It was definitely one of the thicker ones he'd seen too. At least in person. The head was swollen and red, leaking precum into the hair below Ryan's bellybutton. It throbbed twice as Jeremy admired it. Oh, he was going to enjoy this.

     “Jeremy?” Ryan's voice sounded small and far away. Jeremy shook himself out of his own head to see Ryan looking worried. He had subconsciously started petting though Ryan's well defined treasure trail. How long had he been staring at the man laid out for him? He internally grimaced as he realized that Ryan probably felt a little exposed right now; being fully naked while Jeremy was fully clothed, eyeing him up.

     “Don't worry,” He smiled gently. “I've got you.” Jeremy leaned down to lick a long stripe up the underside of Ryan's manhood causing the other man to jump and gasp. “Remember, just stay still. Okay? Be good.” Ryan nodded wildly in response.

     “O-okay,” He reached out towards Jeremy with his good arm but stayed in place. “Please more.” Jeremy smiled and leaned back in, tonguing around the head before opening as much as he could to let Ryan slide along his tongue.

     Jeremy started a slow but steady pace, bobbing his head up and down, trying to take Ryan in a little more each time. The girth alone would make deep throating hard, but god, Jeremy wanted to try. He felt Ryan's fingers slide into his hair. They weren't forcing his movement or holding him down, just resting and gripping his hair, grounding Ryan in the moment. Ryan's hips jerked up off the bed and Jeremy had to let go of Ryan's base to hold his hips in place so he didn't choke. Jeremy was loving this.

     It was like something straight from one of Jeremy's best dreams. He reveled in the heavy weight on this tongue, the pressure against the back of his throat, the hands fisted in his hair, the small power he had by pushing the other man's hips firmly onto the bed. But dear god above, never in his wildest dreams could he have imagined the noises that spilled from Ryan's lips. Jeremy ran his tongue up the vein to press just under the swollen head and Ryan's back arched off the bed like a bow.

     “Pl-please please mor-re.” He panted through his nose.

     Jeremy looked up at him through his lashes but Ryan's head was thrown back in bliss as he whined and writhed. He repeated his licking firmly and Ryan's legs pulled up to squeeze his head. Jeremy wanted to catalogue all his little punched out sounds and remember them when he got off later. Because, honestly, there was no way he would be getting off to anything besides this moment for months.

     “Pleeease!” Jeremy was pulled out of his thoughts by the desperate cry of the man below him. He felt bad, but he had to pull off to catch his breath. Ryan frantically clawed at his head to get him back. “N-no! No, please don't stop! I'll be good! I promise! Just a little more! Please!” Jeremy panted and smiled up at him. Tears of frustration shined in the corners of Ryan's eyes and he looked about ready to panic.

     “It's alright.” Jeremy soothed, and secretly loved how wrecked his voice sounded. “I'll get you there. Just try to relax, okay?” He stifled a laugh at Ryan's frantic nodding and let his head be pulled back towards Ryan's erection. He lightly held the base as he went back to suckling on the head. Jeremy was working his way back down the shaft when he felt Ryan throb in his hand again. He thought for a moment this would be the end, but Ryan just cried out in frustration again and writhed around. He had heard of some medications making it difficult to climax, but he didn't think painkillers were on that list. Then again, he hadn't heard of painkillers making people this... loopy... either. What the fuck had Trevor given him?!

     “Jeremy! Please!” He was pulled out of his musings again by Ryan's desperation. He looked up and saw Ryan propped up on his elbows, panting and watching him. The position as flattering, to say the least, but it was putting stress on his wounded shoulder.

     “Hey!” He gently reprimanded as he pulled off again. “What did I tell you about keeping pressure off your shoulder?” Ryan's eyes went momentarily large and he looked slightly repentant as he carefully laid back down.

     “But I'm so close. And I want to see you.” Ryan whined. Jeremy huffed a quiet laugh and smiled up at him as he started firmly stroking. “I always want to see you.” Ryan sounded out of breath and awestruck as Jeremy lowered his head back down to blow hot breaths across Ryan's oversensitive head. Jeremy decided it was probably best if he didn't listen to anything Ryan had to say at this exact moment, and focused instead on swallowing as much of him as he could. He felt Ryan slide his fingers into his hair again as his head hit the back of Jeremy's throat. That was apparently a little too much for both of them and Ryan gasped and thrust up unexpectedly. Jeremy had to pull off suddenly to keep from choking. He hid a cough and firmly pushed Ryan's chest down when he tried to follow.

     “Ryan, stay put!”

     “But-”

     “Nuh-uh. No. We had an agreement. I help you with this and you keep still.” Jeremy felt Ryan's body relax again into the soft pillows below him. “Now just try to relax. If you keep sitting up, I'll have to stop and leave you here like this. Got it?” Ryan looked heart broken. His voice was small when he spoke.

     “Don't go. Please?” Now Jeremy felt bad. He didn't mean to kick the puppy that was loopy Ryan. What the fuck was going on?!

     “I won't. Just stay still.”

     “Can I watch you next time?”

     “... Sure.” This didn't seem like the best time to remind Ryan that he was on drugs and 'next time' would probably involve less blow jobs and more Ryan beating the shit out of him. But god if Jeremy's heart didn't do back flips at the notion that he would get to do this again. He leaned up and gave Ryan a quick, chaste, kiss; pulling back before Ryan could take over and drag him into something more. “Try to stay still.” Ryan nodded and Jeremy admired the calm doped up look in his eyes before sliding back down to finish what he started. He had a decent rhythm going when Ryan's lips started to loosen in the worst possible way.

     “I-I think about this all the t-time, you know. But I never actually pictured it like th-this.” Jeremy pulled off again to breathe and pump the full length in his fist.

     “Oh? What would be different?” Jeremy knew this was not a path he should be going down, but he couldn't help himself. Ryan's voice was a deep seduction.

     “You never fight me in my dreams.”

     “Ryan-”

     “I could make you feel so good, Jeremy. You'd never want for pleasure. You'd have it constantly.” Oh, this was a more dangerous path that he thought. Jeremy sped up his hand. If he could get Ryan over the edge, maybe it would shut him up. “I bet you're tight. You'd squeeze me so good like you were made to take me. You'd never want to leave my bed. And I'd never let the others take you away from me. Say you'll let me have you. Say it, Jeremy. Say you'll be mine. Let me fuck you from now until forever.” For someone that never really talks, when you get him started he sure doesn't stop.

     “You're already planning next time and we haven't even finished this time.” Jeremy teased to try to mask his heartache at the promise of all the things he wanted but would never have. He leaned down to suck as much of Ryan in as he could. He hoped the sudden assault would shock the older man into silence again. No such luck.

     “Fuck! I'll never stop chasing you, Jeremy. I won't stop until you're mine. I'd do anything for you. You're not the only one with a talented tongue. I'll lick you open until you're begging me to take you. I'll finger you until you think you'll cum on my fingers alone. And just when you think you can't take another second, I'll slide home.” Jeremy was caught between having heard too much and needing with all his soul to hear more. He needed Ryan to stop, but craved the filth pouring from his lips like a broken faucet. “I know you think I'm just violent and rough, but I can be tender too. I can make you beg for the roughness I know you've come to fear. I know you'd want it rough too. You don't suck dick like that and then want to be treated like a princess. I can do both, Jeremy. Just let me! Let me fuck you!”

     Jeremy couldn't stand Ryan's medicated promises anymore. As much as he didn't want to, it was time to end this. He ground himself, holding Ryan's hips in one hand and slid all the way to the base, forcing his throat to relax so he could take in the last few inches. Ryan groaned and tried to buck as Jeremy trailed his other hand back behind his balls to firmly stroke the tender flesh. Ryan's back bowed again and he fisted the sheets.

     “Jer-Je- Wa- pl- ah- ah!!” Jeremy felt Ryan release down his throat after only a few firm strokes. He pulled back as he swallowed to gently suck on the head while Ryan came down from his high. At least completion had stopped his poisoned tongue from tempting Jeremy with honey sweet promises of things he could never have. But this, right now, Ryan's seed in his stomach, his legs around his head, cock slowly softening in his mouth; this he could have. Even it was only for a moment. Damn, it was a glorious moment. Jeremy finally pulled off when Ryan's twitching began to turn into squirming.

     “Jeremy?”

     “Shh.” He went into the bathroom to grab a washcloth. When he came back, Ryan seemed to have had fallen asleep again. Jeremy let out a quiet breath of relief. He didn't think he could handle any more of Ryan's begging. He set about carefully wiping Ryan down. Never let it be said Jeremy wasn't a thoughtful lover. His gentle aftercare routine was cut short as Ryan began to stir again. Jeremy learned his lesson and first time and took several giant steps back.

     “Where are you going?” Ryan reached out a tired arm towards Jeremy, but he was already out of reach.

     “You need to get some sleep.” Jeremy tossed the washcloth in the bathroom and turned to leave. He winced as he adjusted himself in his pants. “And honestly I need to go take care of... this.”

     “I can help. Don't go. You said you wouldn't run if I let you be on top.” Ryan whined but his eyelids drooped as his post orgasmic bliss melted into his medication high to drag him back into sleep again. Jeremy smiled as he pictured all Ryan had promised.

     “As much as I would love that, you seem to be on your way to dreamland right now.” Jeremy snorted a laugh. “I would tuck you in, but we both know what happened last time I got within arms reach of you.” Ryan dropped his arm back on the bed as his eyes slid the rest of the way shut. Jeremy let out a sad sigh and eyed the peacefully sleeping, mildly psychotic, murderous, gorgeous, well endowed man. “And really I don't think you or I would want me in here when you wake up and are... you again.” Jeremy whispered into the darkness. Ryan whimpered in his sleep as a reply to unheard words and Jeremy decided to leave before he woke the beast again.

     Safely back in the hallway, after having shut Ryan's door as quietly as he could, Jeremy slid down the wall to sit on the floor. Well, that could have gone worse. True, he still needed to apologize to Vagabond when he was himself again. But on the bright side, he would die knowing what Ryan looked like in pure ecstasy, and maybe that was okay in his book.

     Geoff's amused chuckle brought him out of his thoughts. Still in a daze, he looked up at his boss.

     “That must have been one hell of an apology.” Geoff smiled ruefully and motioned to his own neck. Jeremy felt his face heat as he remembered Ryan's thorough treatment of love bites. He jumped to his feet and took off down the hall with Geoff's cackling laughter chasing him all the way. He could deal with that and actually apologizing to Ryan in the morning. Right now he had been worked up so much that no amount of embarrassment would kill his erection. And he wouldn't want it to. After all, he had some new information and sounds to work into old fantasies. He could get one last good wank in before he was murdered in the morning.

****

**Author's Note:**

> So, there ya go. There is a sequel to this, which is completed on paper but not anywhere near a computer or even close to being edited... but if you guys want it, let me know... there is also a third part swimming in my head that I'm having difficulty getting onto paper, so we'll have to see about that one. Have to warn you guys, I'm not great with finishing fics. As a point of reference, the last fic I finished before this one was originally saved on a floppy disk... 
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated! I promise I don't bite! Unlike fictional Ryan. ... I'll just see myself out...


End file.
